Big Ol’ Word Nerd

Don't try to tell me ol' isn't a real word. I just happen to know that it's a variant of the word old and is formed the same way as the long-standing tradition of dropping the final consonant of a word to soften it or simulate a slight drawl, just like with rockin', rollin' or scrutinizin' grammar until there isn't a drop of joy left in it. 56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.