PINK WEREPUP

…it’s a werewolf Oh, the joys of otherhood. A precious pink werepup is what to expect when you’re unexpecting. Prunella Philippa Patois Plummer, who was recently delivered by a cauldron of pink bats, seeks a Mommy Not-So-Dearest from a respected bloodline. Prunella’s ancestry has been remarkably traced back twenty-three generations to the Carpathians. Prepare your nurse to be up all night, monitoring moonlight mischief and checking windows. Prunella is prone to howling hiccups when she is given Grrrrber instead of ribeye and starlight truffles. We suggest swaddling her in silver cloth and using lots of garlic when cooking to avoid any pouncing on poultry. You will often find her nested in an elaborate nest of cocktail napkins and satin ribbons. She also enjoys being swaddled in silk charmeuse. Pink. This little one has a head start in every sense. Born with a thick head of hair (you should see her ankles) and the sweetest cub paws. She is not much of a thumb sucker. More of a neck nuzzler. Watch for fangs. She’s teething. She is delivered to you on a full moon, complete with an official birth certificate and dressed fur success in a hand-sewn gown, slip, and bloomers from the Memphis Women’s Exchange. Approximately 5 lbs, 18”l. Upgrade the stork with a Colony of 6 Fuzzy Pink Bats for a festive delivery.