The Little Adult

Do you remember being a kid and getting sent to bed at eight, while your parents were still awake long into the night? Why did they get to stay up, but we didn’t? Back then, I couldn’t wait to grow up. So I would secretly stay awake and play my Game Boy under the covers. I would pick up the cigarette butts my father had left behind and try to smoke them. Sometimes, I would sneak into his room, take his perfume, and spray it on myself. None of it really made sense, of course. But to a child, those little forbidden things felt incredibly grown-up. Maybe that was what adulthood looked like from where we stood: staying up late, smoking cigarettes, wearing perfume, and being allowed to do all the things we were told we were still too young for. And for a little while, pretending was enough to make us feel like adults.