HOATAC Patch (2 Pack)

HOATAC™ — Homeowners Association Tactical When the HOA board has had enough of your bullshit, they call in HOATAC. HOATAC is the dynamic kinetic branch of HOA Enforcement, specializing in high-risk residential operations such as: • Unauthorized lawn height • Suspiciously festive Christmas decorations • Trash cans left out past 0700 • Unregistered basketball hoops • Aggressive barbecue smoke • Driveways containing the wrong color vehicle • And neighbors who think “guest parking” means whatever the hell they want Our highly trained operators are equipped with citation books, reflective vests, walkie-talkies, and an absolutely unreasonable amount of confidence. Mission: Identify. Document. Complain. Rules of Engagement: See Article 7, Subsection 14, Paragraph C. Escalation: Written warning → fine → passive-aggressive Facebook post. HOATAC™ Because your neighborhood deserves a tactical response to a blue trash can. HOA Enforcement — We See. We Document. We ENFORCE.