Steve Hofstetter's Milk Shake Alarm Clock, 12oz, 4-pack

I never had a cup of coffee until a few years ago. I tasted it when I was a kid and thought “I don’t need this in my life.” But a few years ago, I was hanging with a friend and he told me I looked exhausted, and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee. When I said I didn’t like the taste, he asked if I’d ever had a flavored latte. I said “I don’t know what those words mean.” My friend got me a flavored latte, and let me tell you, it was the best damn thing I’d ever had. It was so good. So good. It was an alarm clock that tasted like a milk shake. I wish I knew about this earlier. So I got super into lattes. So much so that three weeks later I had a latte machine at home. And that is how I know I can never try cocaine. Two months in, I’d be Pablo Escobar and that’s not something I want. -Steve Hofstetter