WHO DRANK LAURNOLD PALMER

[PRESALE] WHO DRANK LAURNOLD PALMER? is our signature Lemon + Tea Sport Drink. We aren’t legally allowed to call it an Arnold Palmer because “Arnold Palmer” is trademarked, according to our cowardly lawyer, Barry Rosenblatt, Esq. so we are absolutely not calling it an Arnold Palmer, nor are we comparing it to an Arnold Palmer in any way whatsoever. Instead, we’d like to bring attention to the tragic disappearance of Laurnold Palmer, who allegedly went missing sometime in the late ’80s. We are using our platform to make sure people never forget her. Also, this has absolutely nothing to do with the cult classic television series Twin Peaks created by David Lynch. Nothing at all. Okay? We are using real black tea powder in our formula, and yes, black tea has a lot of well-known health properties. But we aren’t going to sit here and pretend the amount we are using is going to cure you of every disease under the sun. We won’t insult your intelligence like that. The only thing we can confidently promise is that it will help cure your thirst. That much we stand behind. This formula contains slightly less sodium than our standard Sport Drink, but it’s still packed with the electrolytes you need and all the real ingredients you expect. We love it. You will too. Add 1 Tbsp to 10-12 oz of filtered, un-fluoridated water and enjoy.