Monolith Pillar Candle - 100% beeswax - 8000+ hours burn time

Because why buy 1,000 candles when you can just buy one that outlives your mortgage? Introducing The Monolith—the final boss of beeswax. Standing a majestic 4 feet tall with a 12-inch diameter, this isn't just a candle; it’s a structural load-bearing element for your home. Hand-poured in East Vancouver using the collective output of approximately 4.2 million very tired bees, The Megalith is designed for the person who looks at a standard pillar candle and thinks, "Pathetic." Key Features Infinite Burn Time: We stopped counting at 8,000 hours because our intern fell asleep. We estimate it will stay lit until the next major real estate correction. Climate Control: Once ignited, the Monolith produces enough thermal energy to heat a 2-bedroom suite in Mount Pleasant, effectively rendering your BC Hydro bill obsolete. Olfactory Dominance: Emits a beeswax scent so powerful it can be detected as far away as Burnaby. Multi-Purpose: When not lit, it functions as a minimalist room divider, a punching bag for HIIT workouts, or a very expensive scratching post for your cat. Technical Specifications Attribute Specification Height 48 inches (4 feet) Weight 165 lbs (Dry) Wick Braided hemp rope (approx. the thickness of a nautical hawser) Melt Pool 12 inches (May require a perimeter fence for safety) Installation Requires a level floor and a permit from the City of Vancouver Important Safety Information DO NOT leave unattended (unless you have a live-in firefighter). DO NOT attempt to move alone. We recommend a team of four or a heavy-duty furniture dolly. FLAMMABILITY: This candle is technically a fire hazard, a tripping hazard, and a conversation hazard. "I bought The Megalith three years ago. I haven't seen my dining room table since, but the glow is visible from space. 10/10." — Review