I'd Fuck Me Socks

Some people struggle with self-esteem. You are not one of those people. You catch your reflection in a store window and think, “Damn.” You take a selfie and immediately post it and use it as your phone wallpaper until your next selfie a few hours later. You don’t need compliments because you’ve already given yourself several. These outrageously inappropriate socks are for the friend who’s ridiculously attractive, moderately narcissistic, and fully aware of both facts. The kind of person who spends twenty minutes getting ready, looks in the mirror, and confidently announces: “I’d fuck me.” Because they genuinely believe they’re a goddamn catch. Perfect for birthdays, bachelorette parties, girls’ trips, bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges, and that one friend whose confidence should probably be regulated by the federal government. Self-love is important. This is self-love with no speed limit.